Mostly mindless rambles.

This is one of those fatal nights when it’s three am and I’m up and alone because everyone else is either asleep or out having a life, and I’d rather be drunk than sitting in my room listening to my mellow music, over thinking and being nostalgic.

I know this is bad (or not, I guess it depends on who you are) but I really just need to drink and let loose and be numb and not worry and have fun and let the weight that is on my shoulders float away because I’m just sick of feeling.


When I Was Younger

I used to ignore and sometimes laugh at those depression commercials. You know, the ones where they’d all be like “depression hurts”

Now I just feel like I belong in one

Really Skinny People Talking About Needing to go to The Gym

suck it.

It Hurts Just to Wake Up Whenever You’re Wearing Thin

I hate thinking about the future sometimes.

What if I do bad this semester? What if my classes suck next semester? What if camp isn’t the same this summer? What if things change with me and Stefan? What if I don’t get into the child life program? What if I have no future? What happens when dad’s job is gone?


“Im a mess, Im a wreck”

Sick Around the World?

In my Child and Family Health Systems class this past Friday, we watched a Frontline film about health care systems around the world. Germany, Japan, the UK, Switzerland and Taiwan all have extraordinary health care. They pay a bit more in taxes, but the majority of their health care is completely free of cost. A diabetic in Taiwan pays $0 for their insulin prescription, while I pay $40. To stay overnight in the hospital in Japan is $10 a night ($90 for a private room), while a hospital stay in the good old USA costs a mind blowing $1000/night. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

Conclusion? I am moving far away.

I Think I’ll go to Boston?

Everyone at Wheelock makes their status of picture album title on facebook something along these lines, and I think it’s total cheese. Yeah, Wheelock is in Boston….cool. We get it. Augustuna doesn’t need to sing a melodramatic, yet catchy, song about it.


Im feeling bittersweet about this. Break was fun and seeing Stefan and all my friends all the time was glorious, even though I didn’t see all of my babies. I’m going to miss that. But I feel like being in this house makes me even more crazy than normal.